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Post by tidalwave4him on Oct 1, 2003 13:42:16 GMT -6
welcome everyone, to the debut of my new devotional series. i'm going to try to do this every week, so bear with me. this first one is about Stacie Orrico's new hit: "(There's Gotta Be) More to Life." enjoy.
(There’s Gotta Be) More to Life by Stacie Orrico
I’ve got it all, but I feel so deprived I go up, I come down And I’m emptier inside Tell me what is this thing That I fell like I’m missing And why can’t I let it go
There’s gotta be more to life Than chasing down every temporary high To satisfy me ‘Cause the more that I’m Trippin’ up thinkin’ There must be more to life Well there’s life But I’m sure There’s gotta be more
I’ve got the time And I’m wasting it slowly Here in this moment I’m halfway out the door Onto the next thing I’m searching for something That’s missing
-Chorus-
I’m wanting more I’m always waiting on something Other than this Why am I feeling like there’s Something I missed?
-Chorus-
More to life… More to, more to…
All of us, at least one time in our life, have sat down and thought, often about life. And as we think about life, we realize that something is missing. But a lot of times, we don’t really know what that is. All we know is that there is a big gaping hole in our lives. So, naturally, we try to fill it. We try to fill it with all kinds of things: friends, drugs, alcohol, porn, sex, habits, etc. We go around trying to fill that void, it never seems to work. No matter how much or how often we put that stuff in our lives to fill that void, it never seems to last. They never satisfy, because they just don’t last. They don’t last long before we start feeling that void once again.
This is what Stacie Orrico is talking about in her newest hit, “(There’s Gotta Be) More to Life.” She refers to these things that don’t last that we try to fill that void with as “temporary highs.” Those things are only temporary; they will not last. But there is something more. That something is a life in Christ Jesus, God’s only Son.
Read Isaiah 55:1-13
Verses 8-11 say, “’For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,’ declares the Lord. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down fro heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is My Word that goes out from My mouth: it will not return to Me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.’”
Sometimes we get down so low in life that we can’t see the forest for the trees. We get stuck on this lower level of thinking and existence. If we are not careful, we buy into the world’s mindset of depression, failure, and defeat.
So, how do we get away from the world’s mindset and into a place where we feel satisfied, something that lasts? Psalm 46:10 states it pretty clearly: “Be still and know that I am God.” Jesus also says, “I am the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6).
But there is another aspect to this song: hope. We all have bad days, and often, in frustration, I find myself in these times going, “There’s just got to be something else than this, something better.” Well, there is. There is a Hope, no matter where you are, who you are, or whatever. This Hope states in Matthew 11:28, “Come unto Me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
So when things get tough, or you’re having a bad day, and you find yourself thinking or saying the words in this song, remember that there is always Someone there for you, and He promises that there is something better, but we’ve just got to believe in Him, and look for His coming. And when you’re going through tough times, all you have to do is call on Jesus. He said, “I will never leave you, nor forsake you,” and He means it. Just call on Jesus, and He’ll be there.
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Post by tidalwave4him on Oct 10, 2003 13:05:12 GMT -6
What If I Stumble? By DC Talk
[The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today Is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips Then walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.]
What if I stumble? What if I fall?
Is this one for the people? Is this one for the Lord? Or do I simply serenade for things I must afford? You can jumble them together, my conflict still remains Holiness is calling, in the midst of courting fame
Cause I see the trust in their eyes Though the sky is falling They need Your love in their lives Compromise is calling
What if I stumble, what if I fall? What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all? Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl? What if I stumble, and what if I fall?
What if I stumble, what if I fall? You never turn in the heat of it all What if I stumble, what if I fall?
Father please forgive me for I can not compose The fear that lives within me Or the rate at which it grows If struggle has a purpose On the narrow road you've carved Why do I dread my trespasses will leave a deadly scar
Do they see the fear in my eyes? Are they so revealing? This time I cannot disguise All the doubt I'm feeling
(repeat chorus)
What if I stumble? Everyone's got to crawl when you know that You're up against a wall, it's about to fall Everyone's got to crawl when you know that (2x)
I hear You whispering my name [You say] "My love for You will never change" [never change]
(repeat chorus 2x)
What if I stumble, what if I fall? You never turn in the heat of it all What if I stumble, what if I fall? You are my comfort, and my God
Is this one for the people, is this one for the Lord?
As we go through life, we are around many people day in and day out, whether it’s at work, at school, or just walking to the store (or driving, or riding the bus, what have you). Some of them actually know you (friends, or people who you just happen to run into regularly while about on your daily business). They also know what you believe. A lot of times you don’t even have to say what you believe, they can see by your actions, and what you say. They know what you believe by how you live your life. Your actions speak louder than words, and they’re watching you, trying to see if you are for real or not, waiting to see if you’ll slip up, so they can mock you, because you’re not who they thought you were.
The truth is, you’re going to slip up, or stumble. James 3:2 says, “For we all stumble in many things.” This may shock you (or may not), but we all stumble, in many ways. Just face it: it’s going to happen. No matter how careful you are, it will happen. “For all have sinned…” (Romans 3:23). Sounds like stumbling, doesn’t it?
So what happens when we slip up and stumble? Does God love us less, because we’ve made Him appear to be a fool? What about the people who watched us stumble and fall, what do we do about that?
A lot of us are scared of failing, especially in front of other people. This is what DC Talk was addressing in this song. The first thing we should focus on is who are we trying to please? The first lines of the first verse of this song state, “Is this one for the people/Is this one for the Lord?” That is what we should be asking ourselves. If we’re trying to be a people-pleaser, it’s not going to succeed. We will fail, and it’ll seem like the sky has fallen, because our failure will seem to be amplified. But if we are trying to please God, then when we stumble, it’s not going to seem as bad, because our focus wasn’t on the people, or the world, but on God, and what He thinks about us.
Matthew 10:28 says, “Do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body.” In other words, quit focusing on what the world thinks about you; focus on what God thinks about you. Read Jeremiah 29:11 and Colossians 3:2.
So, what happens when we stumble? Does God’s love for us change? No, God’s love for us never changes, no matter what we do or say. Paul says in Romans 8:38-39, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, nor angels, nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God…”
So, no matter how many times, or how bad we mess up, God still loves us. So what do we do if we stumble?
Simple: you pick yourself back up. You can’t just lay there on the ground, you’re going to get walked on. You pick yourself up (humble yourself before God), shake off the dirt (repent), and carry on with your life. Maybe you have to ask others for forgiveness. Because a lot of times when we stumble, we cause those around us to stumble, as well. So, we need to help them get back on their feet.
So, what if we stumble and fall? You get back up. Don’t lie there on the ground and throw yourself a pity party. Get up, shake yourself off, and walk. “We are more than conquerors through Him who loved and saved us.” What are you waiting for? Is this for the people, or is this for the Lord?
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Post by tidalwave4him on Oct 16, 2003 13:20:28 GMT -6
here's the Third one:
Two Sets of Jones’ by Big Tent Revival
This here's a song about two sets of Jones' Rothchild-Evelyn, Reuben and Sue Just for discussion, through random selection We've chosen two couples who haven't a clue Rothchild was lucky to marry so wealthy Evelyn bought him a house on the beach Reuben and Sue, they had nothing but Jesus And at night they would pray that he'd care for them each
Chorus And the rain came down It blew the four walls down And the clouds, they rolled away One set of Jones' was standing that day
Evelyn's daddy was proud of young Rothchild He worked the late hours to be number one But just newlyweds and their marriage got rocky He's flying to Dallas, she's having a son Reuben was holding a Gideon's Bible he screamed, >It's a boy!< so that everyone heard The guys at the factory took a collection Again, God provided for bills he'd incurred [/i]
Chorus
So what is the point of this story What am I trying to say Is your life built on the rock of Christ Jesus Or a sandy foundation you've managed to lay
Needless to say, Evelyn left her husband And sued him for every penny he had I truly whish that those two would find Jesus Before things get worse than they already have
Chorus
And the rain came down It blew the four walls down And the clouds, they rolled away There’s two sets of Jones’ Which ones will you be? Li de di, li de di, li de di, li de di…
Most, if not all, of us have, at some point in our lives heard the parable Jesus taught about the man who built his house on the beach and the man who built his house on the rock (Matthew 7:24-27). But a lot of us (myself included) often look over this as another mere Bible story, just another thing of days long ago. But the truths found in these four verses are absolutely phenomenal, and still relates to today’s world.
This song by Big Tent Revival is based off the story described above. Often, when I hear this song, I picture something like the Pacific Northwest. It rains here… a lot. Sometimes, especially after a snowstorm, it rains a little too much. Take that and add in melting snowpacks upriver, and you’ve got the Floods of ’96. On the news, they’d show houses, where the owner built too close to the river, fall into the raging waters and be carried off downstream. The owners built there because land values tend to be higher along the river banks than farther back. But it’s also riskier, as a lot of them soon found out.
Yet, that’s how many of us live. We see the pleasures of life, and they don’t seem so bad, so we build our lives right along it. But sooner or later, tough times will come, and the pleasures of life won’t seem as peaceful as they once looked. Before you know it, your life is being swept downstream, totally beyond your control.
On the other hand, the people who build their houses farther away from the river don’t have to worry about their house being swept away. Sure, the waters may get a little too close for comfort, but the house was so far away from the river, the waters were hardly moving when it came to the house.
So, essentially, there’s 2 ways you can go. You can build your house right along the pleasures of life. Where it seems easy now, but destruction is coming down the river. On the other hand, you can build far away from the pleasures of life. Where the ground may be rough and hard, but when tough times come, you’ll be able to hold onto your life, and not lose control and watch as it goes downstream.
Big Tent Revival hits the nail on the head in the last 2 lines of their bridge: “Is your life built on the rock of Christ Jesus/Or a sandy foundation you’ve managed to lay?” That’s what we need to ask ourselves, instead of waiting until the hard times come and then finding out. Read 2 Samuel 22:2-4, Psalm 46:1, 91:1-6,9-16.
There are many more promises that we can claim, but we must first build our lives on the right foundation.
There’s two sets of Jones’ Which ones will you be?
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Post by tidalwave4him on Oct 22, 2003 12:08:49 GMT -6
Go and Sin No More by Rebecca St. James
I've sinned, come on my knees For I'm not worthy of Your love How could You die for me Such grace can only come from God
Oh Lord, You search and You know me You see me inside out God, You alone can forgive me Erase my fear and my doubt Father, You pick me up - I feel like a child in Your arms I don't deserve this love, but I hear Your voice, Lord Jesus
CHORUS Go and sin no more He said I will not condemn you, I'll forgive and I'll forget it all Go and sin no more My child, let me remind you it is I who'll lead and guide you as you go
You are my purpose You are the reason that I live I want to be like You Help me to love and to forgive
God, let me not be distracted Lord, help me focus on You Keep sin from ruling me, Lord, make me holy and pure Father, You pick me up, I feel like a child in Your arms I don't deserve this love but, I hear Your voice Lord, Jesus
CHORUS
Wipe, wipe away Take, take away Break, break away Fill my life, make it right Father, help me, Father, help me go
CHORUS
He said I will not condemn you, no Go and sin no more My child let me remind you it is I who'll lead and guide you as you go
I've sinned, come on my knees, how could You die for me You search my heart know my thoughts See me inside out and all throughout me You alone can forgive me You always pick me up like a child in Your arms I could stay with You forever here
John 8:3-11 tells the story of a woman who was caught in the middle of having an affair with another man. The Pharisees brought her before Jesus and tried to accuse Him by testing Him. But all Jesus did was bend over and write in the dirt. They continued to pester Him until He finally stood up and said, “Go ahead and stone her, unless you have sinned even one time in your life.” One by one, out of frustration, they left until it was just Jesus and the woman. Jesus looked at the woman and finally said, “Your accusers are gone, neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more.”
What an awesome picture of who we are! We go through life, and if we’re saved, we’re “married to Jesus.” But often, when we’re walking, something catches our eye. Next thing we know we’re in bed with the enemy, and the entire world is watching.
The world loves to watch us and accuse us of everything. So, the world has caught us sleeping with the devil, and they know we’re “married to Jesus.” So they bring us before God and accuse us, and try to get God to destroy us. But thank God for Jesus! In comes Jesus, in the nick of time saying, “That’s My bride! I bought them with My blood!” God blinks once and twice, but all He sees is Jesus’ blood. Jesus escorts us out of the courtroom, turns to us, and says, “Go and sin no more.”
He won’t condemn you, but the world will try to get Him to. The key word is try, because it’s up to you if you throw in the towel and admit defeat. Or, you can admit you were wrong, but vow to sin no more. So when you mess up, and the world’s on your back about it, what are you going to do?
Read the following Scriptures and take them to heart:
John 3:14-21; Romans 8:1; Psalm 86:5; 1 John 1:9; Colossians 2:13; Psalm 103:8,12.
Jesus will forgive you of your sins. But He expects something. He wants you to go out and sin no more. Now we all know that’s easier said than done. But if you fail, repent. He’ll forgive you. Then you get back up, shake the dirt off of you and go out and sin no more. He’s with you every step of the way. “Never will I leave you, nor forsake you.” And He’s always been true to His word. So what are you waiting for? GO!
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Post by tidalwave4him on Oct 29, 2003 12:42:08 GMT -6
He Reigns by The Newsboys, Adoration
It’s the song of the redeemed Rising from the African plain It’s the song of the forgiven Drowning out the Amazon rain The song of Asian believers Filled with God’s holy fire It’s every tribe, every tongue, every nation A love song born of a grateful choir
It’s all God’s children singing Glory, glory, hallelujah He reigns, He reigns It’s all God’s children singing Glory, glory, hallelujah He reigns, He reigns
Let it rise above the four winds Caught up in the heavenly sound Let praises echo from the towers of cathedrals To the faithful gathered underground Of all the songs sung from the dawn of creation Some were meant to persist Of all the bells rung from a thousand steeples None rings truer than this [/i]
And all the powers of darkness Tremble at what they’ve just heard ‘Cause all the powers of darkness Can’t drown out a single word
When all God’s children sing out Glory, glory, hallelujah He reigns, He reigns All God’s people singing Glory, glory, hallelujah He reigns, He reigns
Read 2 Chronicles 20:1-30.
In this story, 3 of Judah’s greatest enemies decided to gang up on Judah. The people of Judah find out, and what is their first impulse? “IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD!!!! WE’RE DOOMED!!!! WE’LL NEVER MAKE IT OUT ALIVE!!!!” Jehoshaphat, king of Judah at the time, decided to proclaim a fast. He led all the people of Judah assembled together into a time of fasting, prayer, and seeking the Lord. Jahaziel, the prophet at the time, stood up and began to prophesy, “Do not be afraid, for the battle is the Lord’s!” So everyone began to get up and start praising Him. The next morning, they went out to do battle. Instead of arming themselves for battle, they started praising God for the victory He was going to give them. By the time they got to their enemies’ camp, their enemies were entirely defeated.
This is a powerful picture of the power of praise. The Bible tells us to praise the Lord when things are going great, and when all hell is breaking loose. All of us go through tough times. I’ve been going through tough times for the past 3 years of my life. In that time period, I’ve had many friend come and go like the wind. I’ve seen my parents divorce and my family absolutely in shambles. I’ve had 2 of my favorite family members (both great grandparents) pass away, 6 months apart from each other. My spiritual life has gone downhill, then a little back up, and completely plummet again, over and over and over…
But in this time period of defeats, I’ve had some of the biggest successes in my life. I was able to lead the largest high school campus Bible Study in my area during my senior year of high school, where we had an average of 100 students show up each week. I preached my first message in front of 80 students. I’ve had some of the best times with God when I’ve been in those times of “spiritual ups,” though they’ve been few and far between. I’ve met so many wonderful people, and to this day, quite a few of them are my friends. I’ve recently got a job I like and has good pay. And there are so many more little “ups” that would just take too much time to explain…
I know what you’re most likely saying, “Why or how is he experiencing so many great successes in this time of trouble?” The same reason why the people of Judah experienced that great victory without so much as drawing a sword. Instead of focusing on the trouble, they lifted their heads and looked to the Father. Read Numbers 21:4-9. Same principle. Instead of focusing on the trouble (snakes biting at them), the lifted their heads to their source of escape (the bronze serpent on a pole). God won’t take you out of your troubles, but He will provide a way of escape.
For the past several weeks, my pastor has been preaching about this exact same thing. We need to get our eyes off of our circumstances and onto God. We need to praise Him during good times as well as times where it seems like there is no way out. My friends use this phrase, which I’ve begun to use all the time now: “The only 2 times to praise the Lord are when I feel like it and when I don’t.” it’s true. We are called to praise Him. Period. He didn’t ask whether we wanted to or not. We are to praise Him.
Praise Him for what? The Bible says to praise Him in all things. Philippians 4:7 says that “the peace of God… will guard your hearts and minds.” So, what does that mean? We praise God for everything, because He reigns! God is in control, and if we have confidence in that, God’s peace will begin to flow through us.
And that’s not all that happens when we begin to praise the Lord. The enemy cannot stand praise. Why? When the enemy hears God’s children start to praise the Lord, the past begins to come back and haunt him. The enemy used to be in charge of all the high praise that went to God in Heaven, but since Satan has fallen, it’s not a weapon that is used against Him. Satan cannot stand praise. Praise makes him go insane. It confuses him. It drives him away. Why do we praise God in tough times? Because it releases victory. How? By causing the enemy to flee!
So the next time you find yourself in tough times, start singing praises to God! It releases victorious power.
It’s all God’s children singing Glory, glory, hallelujah He reigns, He reigns!
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Post by tidalwave4him on Nov 5, 2003 17:13:06 GMT -6
Enough by Chris Tomlin, Not to Us
All of You is more than enough for All of me For every thirst and every need You satisfy me with Your love And all I have in You is more than enough
You are my supply My breath of life And still more awesome than I know You are my reward Worth living for And still more awesome than I know [/i]
chorus
You’re my sacrifice Of greatest price And still more awesome than I know You’re the coming King You are everything And still more awesome than I know
chorus
More than all I want More than all I need You are more than enough for me More than all I know More than all I can see You are more than enough
God is desperate for us. That’s evident in His Son and how He came to this earth, lived a perfect life, and died on the cross for our sins. But that’s not all. God wants us to be desperate for Him as well. He can be desperate for all eternity for us, but until we are desperate for Him, it’s all in vain.
I have been through times where I just could not get enough of God or His Word. I wouldn’t just settle for “enough.” There was always more, and I wanted it. That’s where God wants us to be in our lives and in our attitudes towards Him. Many of us are just satisfied with that brief little encounter at salvation. God expects us to not just live there, but to grow in that. If we’re still living in our salvation experience, we’re missing out on everything that God has in store for us. Why? Because we’re just satisfied with “enough.”
The first sermon I ever preached was in front of 80 students during the first meeting of Campus Revolution, which was the Bible Study on my campus that I led during my senior year in high school. It was the largest Bible Study in the area. There were about 10 high schools and a number of middle schools around. We had an average of 100 people show up a week at this Bible Study, half of the number of people who showed up at the flagpole for See You at the Pole that year.
I spoke in front of 80 people about the same subject: Desperate. That was going to be the theme of the school year, as well: How desperate are we? God is so desperate for us, that when we begin to return the desperation to Him, it is as if it were a splash of pure, cold water to a thirsty man who has spent days in the desert and is at his last ounce of strength. Psalm 42:1-2 compares this to a deer panting for the water. That is how desperate David was for God. Imagine how much more desperate God is for us!
The book of Psalms talks a great deal about this same subject, about being desperate for Him. Psalm 42:1-2; 63:1; 84:1-7 are just a few.
My prayer over my life is that being desperate for God wouldn’t just come in seasons. That it wouldn’t just come and go, but it would be a persistent, desperate desire for God. It would be continuous, ever-growing. It would never decrease, but the closer I get to Him, the more I would be desperate for Him. That is my prayer. I want to be more desperate for Him than yesterday, and even more than the day before. And as we get more desperate for God, the more He’s going to satisfy us. And the more He satisfies us, the more desperate we get for Him. So it’s not really how desperate we are right now for Him. It’s a matter of how desperate we want to be for Him.
God’s going to take you deeper into Him, but you have to let Him. He’s not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to. But no matter how deep you go, there is always going to be more, even when it seems like you have had “enough,” there is always more. And that should be more than enough to satisfy us. There is plenty of God to go around, so why not just start digging in?
And I, I, I, I’m desperate for You And I, I, I, I’m lost without You.
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Post by tidalwave4him on Feb 4, 2004 14:19:46 GMT -6
I have been taking a break from these devotions to hear from God again. Well, I have, and I'm trying to get back into the swing of things... I'll try to post one every Wednesday, unless otherwise noted... Here is the latest, you can view the rest at Past Musical Reflections, if they're not all up there Worlds Apart by Jars of Clay I am the only one to blame for this Somehow it all ends up the same Soaring on the wings of selfish pride I flew too high and like Icharus I collide With a world I try so hard to leave behind To rid myself of all but love, To give and die
To turn away and not become Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves More deeply than the ocean, more abundant than the tear Of a world embracing every heartache Can I be the one to sacrifice Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow To love you-take my world apart To need you-I am on my knees To love you-take my world apart To need you-broken on my knees
All said and done I stand alone Amongst remains of a life I should not own It takes all I am to believe In the mercy that covers me Did you really have to die for me? All I am for all you are Because what I need and what I believe Are worlds apart “Take my world apart.” That is an awesome prayer. This song by Jars of Clay has ministered to me time and time again, but there are 3 significant times in my life where I happened to stumble across this song at the right time and my life was changed. The first encounter was about the middle of my senior year. Seniorities had kicked in full swing, and semester final exams were looming just one month away. I was an A-B student with a 3.6 GPA entering my senior year. Progress reports came out around Christmas, and it was the worst grades I have ever gotten. Ok, so a lot of people would’ve killed to get a progress report that said they had a 2.8 GPA so far that semester. Well, in my family, that didn’t matter. Needless to say, my mom blew up. I was grounded until I “got my grades up.” Now we all know that is easier said than done. That also meant I was grounded from church. That was killing me. It was about 3 weeks later (it ended up taking a month to get my grades up) and I was doing homework. My mom’s boyfriend at that time had just given me his copy of Jars of Clay’s debut album and told me that it motivated him to do his work. So, I was sitting at my desk doing homework with that CD playing, when this song came on. It wasn’t the first time I’d heard this song, but something got my attention. It was as the singer started singing, “Take my life, oh my Lord, take it now, take it now…” By this time I was extremely fed up with my mom and just wanted out. Depression was knocking on the door. But once I heard those words, my world just came apart. I broke down in tears. I put the song on repeat and just laid my head down on my desk and watched as God took my world apart and mended it back together in a new and better way. I buckled down and got my grades up and was finally able to go back to church. I tell you, coming back to church after such a long absence leaves you feeling like you’ve backslidden. The 2nd encounter happened (of all nights) on the night of my senior prom. My church was having a 24-hour prayer service that night. It was only the 2nd one we have ever done, and judging from the first one, it was going to be good. Just one problem: prom was during that service, yet I wanted to go to both. My prom date and I decided that when we were ready to leave the prom, we’d call my mom, and have her drive us out to the church. So we left prom (right as the “dirty dancing” began, mind you), and got to the church. Around 2am, I grew tired. Sure, I had been worshipping + praying for only 3 hours, but I began to grow very tired, especially after the events from earlier. So, I laid across the front row seats and proceeded to read my Bible. I was out cold in an instant. During this time, I had begun to grow so cold and bitter towards my mom, I had come to the point where I was planning on how I could run away. We all know that never accomplishes anything for the good. I was so full of bitterness at the time, I couldn’t have cared less at the time. It was 1 month away from graduation and 3 months before I turned 18, and 4 months before I would move 15 minutes away to college. But I wanted out… now. I woke up about 4 hours later to this song playing, and a few people were still worshipping. But then I realized what song was playing, and I got on the floor on my face before God and started repenting. I gave it all up to God. I knew all those thoughts and feelings towards my mom weren’t right, but I would always find some way to “justify” them. So I decided to stick it out. Yeah, that summer was hell, but I would always remind myself of what was coming at the end of that September, and it was enough to help me get through those times. Though I wanted to quit numerous times, and depression began to creep in, I’d put this song on, and it would help me, thank the Lord, it helped me! The 3rd encounter occurred at the most serious point in my life thus far: February-March 2003. In the months leading up to this time, I was experiencing a time of building up. I began to see as my life began to prosper, a little. I began to surround myself with friends. It was all preparation. In October 2002, I started to slip a little. By January 2003, it had turned into a slide. In February, the bottom gave away, and I found myself in a free fall. In just 2 weeks’ time, I had fallen so low that depression hit, hard. I was battling suicidal thoughts and thoughts of just self-injuring myself to the point where I had to give my friend Stephanie my pocket knife to avoid taking any chances. I had come to the point where I was about ready to, and had actually begun to, walk away from God. I needed help, bad, and a lot of my friends were scared for me. At the beginning of March, my church had a winter camp. By that time, I had begun to do some serious cleaning in my life. By the time camp came around, it had appeared that I had cleaned up a lot of my life. But it was all really just shoved in a closet. After camp, my life seemed to have changed, but it didn’t last. The things in the closet wouldn’t stay shut up for very long. It all came flooding out, and one week after I experienced perhaps one of my greatest victories, I experienced the most tragic defeat, and that Friday night, found myself in a dorm room with about 7 people partying and getting drunk. That next day, I realized my life was in the middle of an avalanche that was on the line of being out of control. I went to church that night. If I hadn’t, I’m scared to think where I’d be right now. I fell on my knees at the altar during worship doing so much repenting, I was shaking. I just poured out my heart to God, and told him how I felt. I then asked for His help. I got back to my dorm later that night after service, went into a side room and put in a random CD that I just grabbed off my desk and put it in on random. The very first song that played was Worlds Apart. I sank on my knees and wept hard. I called Stephanie over and she was so glad to see that I was doing ok. I watched as my world again was taken apart by God as I gave it all to Him, and He re-mended it for His purposes. I do suffer repercussions from that night to this day. The first few weeks afterward really bad, with the temptation to do it again everywhere I go, except church, or with my Godly friends, which is where I tried to spend so much of time in. I never thought that I would ever do that, and I let my guard down, thinking I’d never do that. Such a misconception… So, what exactly is my point in saying all this? This is a longer devotion than normal, but I do have a point I’m trying to get at. Read Matthew 21:44. “Whoever falls on the rock will be broken, but whoever the rock falls on will be smashed.” It all essentially boils down to a choice: Broken or Smashed? Are you going to come to a place of humility and submission to God willingly, or are you going to continue to do your own things in your own way, as the rock comes hurtling down in your life? You will either come to a place of humility willingly (fall on the rock), or do things your own way, and God will have to drag you to that place of humility (the rock falls on you). If you won’t go willingly, then all God can do is sit back and watch as you ruin your life. It sounds harsh, but I’ve lived it. In those 3 times in my life, God has had to drag me to that point of humility. And believe me, it’s no party to be smashed. Being broken hurts, but it’s a whole lot better than having the rock fall on you. So, where are you at in your life? Are you on top of the rock, or is the rock on top of you? Which do you want in your life? If you want to be on top of the rock, then get on your knees and humble yourself before Him. What does that mean? Surrender your life to Him. It doesn’t mean you have to be perfect, it just means that you’re honest before God. That’s humility, being honest to God about things that you’ve done or felt or thought. Remember: God always answers knee-mail. So, what are you waiting for? Take my world apart I am on my knees...
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